Since my first KAL, Mystery Stole 3-July 07, I have been somewhat amazed at the comments some people, both American and those from other countries, have made. If I can't make a positive comment I don't make one. I realize that we all come from different cultures, different schools of thought, etc. therefore, I attempt to think the best. Do I grow weary of seeing people ask the same questions over and over? You bet your sweet bippy!!!!!
Some even go as far as to make very mean spirited comments directly to other group members. This doesn't only happen in on-line groups, it happens everyday in our churches, work places and sad to say, our homes. Stephen Covey has written many wonderful books on communication. In his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," he brings up several great thoughts.
1) Seek first to understand and then to be understood. How many of our arguments could be averted if we would stop long enough to cool our jets and try to see things from the other point of view? To try first to figure out exactly what is being said.
A funny story:
When our Sara was little she always got words mixed up. She still does. When she was 5 we lived in Tulsa, OK. My husband, David, was attending Oral Roberts University. Being a poor student family of 5 we were always looking for fun, FREE things to do. The University had a gym, the Aerobics Center. One Friday night we headed over. David and our oldest, Aaron-7, stayed downstairs to shoot some hoops while Sara-5, Jordan-3 and I headed upstairs to the running track/gymnastics center that over looked the basketball area. Sara was practising her ballet in the mirrors. Jordan had fallen asleep on one of the mats when Sara informed me she needed to go to the bathroom. I told her to go right down the stairs and Daddy would show her where the bathroom was. She wasn't gone hardly any time when she reappeared at the top of the steps.
I asked her "Sissy, did you go to the bathroom?" Now, you have to realize the kids were attending a private Christian school and we didn't use foul language around the house in order for you to understand my horror at her response. She said, "Yeah, I went to the bathroom and took a couple shits." I sat on the floor next to Jordy with my mouth drooping wide open. Surely I had misheard her. "You what?" "I went to the bathroom and took a couple shits." Now, my mind is racing. Where has she heard this term? Is that what she really said? "You did what?" This sweet little thing was so patient with her poor stunned mommy. "I went to the bathroom and a took a couple shits." This time when she got to the "shits" portion of her statement she acted like she was shooting a basketball. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, shots, you took a couple shots!!!!!!" "Yeah."
Sometimes we have to put things in context and sometimes we have to remember we are having a language breakdown or hitting a barrier. :)
2) We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. This one is a little more difficult to understand I think. It took me a while to grasp it anyways. We all have an invisible filter around us. Everything we hear, or experience, has to come through that filter before it can be assimilated. Depending on what our experiences have been depends on how we view situations or others. Again, we need to not just react, we need to seek out the truth of what is really being said or done.
Another funny story:
When Sara was around 10 she and her Daddy had been out for a walk. When they returned David said, "Sissy, tell Momma what we saw in that yard." She proudly and boldly said, "Oh yeah, we saw a Version Mary." After much laughter I told her it was a "Virgin Mary not a Version Mary." She said, "Oooooooooh, I thought I was a Version Mary because that was their version." Well, makes some sense huh?
A final funny story:
When Jordan was little the church we pastored was Glad Tidings Christian Center. He was probably around 6 or so when he said "Mommy, why is our church called Glad Tidings Christian Sinner?"
Can we communicate?
I finished clue 2 of Gammy's Hope (Christine's Rose Garden). This baby afghan is so very pretty. I'm going to have to make another one in white as a baby dedication afghan in a lace weight.