Tuesday, September 4, 2007

She Did WHAT????

First a pic of the swatch I knitted up and blocked for the Secret of the Stole. I think it will turn out nicely.

Okay, I told you I'd tell you something funny. Well, to me it is funny and I wonder how many people this kind of stuff happens to. You know I am an extreme extrovert, I made that point clear in this post. Well, last Friday I went to Wal-Mart to do some grocery shopping. I really hate grocery shopping, I mean I really hate it. If I wasn't facing mutiny on the Sturgeon I would possibly never go. Anyways, there I was in the check out line minding my own business. When I looked behind me there was this little old lady, obviously either an extreme extrovert or a total lune. She picked up one of the tabloids that had a picture of some star's butt, you know showing all the cellulite. This star was wearing a swimsuit that has one of those scarf like wraps. The lune pointed at it and said, "I think maybe she should have pulled that down more don't you?" I laughed and said yeah. Outside it sounded like 'yeah', kinda light and free. But on the inside it sounded like Gil Favor from Raw Hide, 'ye....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah." (I loved that show as a kid, it is the reason I eat dried beans today!!!!! SEE PREVIOUS POST)

Well, she then began to touch her hair and said "I just got my hair cut, you think it looks okay?". "Sure," said I, "I thought it looked like it had been styled, it looks very nice." "Do you think I should color it?" said the lune. Her hair is a very pretty silver. "Naw, I like it like it is, I've thought about letting mine go natural but my gray isn't as pretty as yours." "Well, you don't look old enough to have gray hair honey," says the wicked weirdo. "Oh," blushing me says, "I'm fifty, I'm plenty old for gray hair." Out of no where, she slaps me right on the butt and says "Don't you lie to me!!!!" Yep, right there in checkout lane #9 at Wal-Mart on Campbell Lane, Bowling Green, KY, I'm accosted by a little old lady.

About that time the checkout girl says, "Ma'am you can go to lane 10, she is empty." As little miss psycho walks by me she stops and says, "I was waiting on a compliment myself, I'm 74." I said, "No!!!!, I can't believe that, you sure don't look 74!!!!" I think God understands those kind of lies. She says, "Oh, you are just saying that cause I said that to you." I says, "No, you look very nice for 74, but I'm not going to slap you on the butt!!!!" Said lune turns to me and says, "You ain't gonna turn me in are you?"

I don't know folks. Does this kind of stuff happen to everybody? Maybe extreme extrovertism is the same thing as lunacy.

19 comments:

Lissette said...

Um.., no that kind of stuff doesn't happen to everyone. That woman was a bit "off her rocker." HA! Old lady, rocker, get it?

Traci said...

Oh that is funny stuff! Yeah, she has lost her filter! You know, the stuff you want to do but don't because you are in public?! Can't say that has ever happened to me!

CraftyGryphon said...

Ooo, love the way your swatch looks. I'm in on the Stole, too... I have *got* to find my yarn, though. (I think my house ate it.)

Joanne said...

Well, I was fine with all that stranger talk--totally all right--right up to the butt slapping. Whew! That's a doozy, girl! I am not a fan of grocery shopping either, but I'll have to remember this one for the next time I feel bored in line. It could be worse?!

Arianwen said...

Ok she sounded quite cute until she slapped you. I usually attract nutters but not that nutty!

Peggy said...

Maybe that stuff only happens in Kentucky?
Wow.

Tabitha said...

I've gotta say I love wacky old people stories, must be because I have a ton myself from working at an assisted living home...can't say I've ever been slapped on the butt though, lol! I have been kicked, pinched, hair pulled and spit on. It was the norm there, not in a grocery store checkout :)HA!

WickedStitchWitch said...

ROTF...too funny Peggy! There sure are some characters here in KY! At least she was a spry ole lady and not with one foot in the grave. BTW nice swatch! I did not have time to get mine done this weekend as planned. Too much to watch at my daughter's softball tournament.

Valerie said...

I nearly fell off the chair laughing at your story. -=giggle=- I can't say that has ever happened to me, but I was stopped by a homeless man when I met Grim for the first time. He spouted off poetry to the both of us for a good 15 minutes to half an hour.

Christina said...

I'm sitting in front of my computer with tears in my eyes. It's a great story! There are strange people everywhere and I sometimes meet some, but I've never experienced something as strange as you! (sorry for my bad English)

Christina

Anonymous said...

Absolutely hysterical. I probably would have laughed at the little old lady if she did that to me. The fact that she is interacting with others and not locked up in a home is terrific.

Holly said...

Ya know? Can't say that has ever happened to me...but then you look very approachable. Not like me when I go to W-M with four crazed children in tow. No one messes with the mama who is on the brink. They just look at me sympathetically, and give me a wide berth. ;~)

Sonya said...

Ok, I am all for talking to strangers and being friendly, but I draw the line at unwanted physical contact. That was truly weird. But I have been known to give the elderly a lot more leeway than I would other people.

Beth said...

I'm still back at I hate grocery shopping.
I say it all the time.
First the listmaking!
Then you go to the store and take everything off the shelves into the basket
Then out of the basket onto the belt.
Then off the belt into the bags. Then load the bags back into the cart. Then take the bags out og the cart into the car.
Then from the car into the house.
Then out of the bags into your cupboards.
Too much handling of each item. HATE IT! Plus I usually have Bustr and Maggie with me which is a whole story on its own.
Maybe I need a smack on the butt.

Christy said...

Hilarious! Crazy things like that keep life interesting. I once had a bum try to take my eyeglasses at a bus stop. It's funny and always a good story to tell. Your swatch looks great by the way!

Brenda said...

love your swatch...what yarn and needle size did you use?

Courtney the Knitting Goddess said...

Hi Peggy! Your swatch looks great. I love the color beads you've chosen to go with it. And thanks for sharing the crazy old lady story... I thought that sort of thing only happened with sketchy men at last call on a Saturday. ;-)

beadntat said...

Hey neighbor! Love your swatches! Now if only I could get into knitting swatches :-)

As for the looney old lady, let's just say that dementia turns even the most sedate of southern ladies into extroverts, Walmart or otherwise. The stuff my grandmother said and did was astonishing!

Netter said...

Hehe...finally I have found somone else that this kind of wacky stuff happens too. I'm an old lady magnet and the nutcases flock to my side. I just love that she popped you on the rear. That woman has some spunk left in her.